This excerpt was linked to our BLOG on SAFE PLAY. One of our clinicians shared a specific story and a “how to apply this”. We hope you find the additional appendix helpful as you navigate life with your child.

SAFE Play

Structured: The idea of structuring play is simple. It means that activities are designed and executed in a way that follows a predictable format. Some examples are:

Following a predicable format. (eg. We brush our teeth before we get into our pajamas. We get on our pajamas before we read a bedtime story. We read a story before we climb into our bed. Or- we wash our hands before we sit down to dinner).
Following a simple set of predictable rules. (eg. Everyone takes a turn before we take a second turn; Pass the dice to the player on the left; No touching another person during the game).
Having a defined time frame. (eg. Use a visual timer; everyone gets 5 minutes before passing the game to someone else; announce that we have 30 minutes before we have to put the game away).
Keep play non-competitive. (eg. Play teams against the clock instead of against one another; Try to out perform the teams last “best score”).

Attuned: The idea of attunement means that adults are able to read and respond to the child’s emotional state during the activity. In activities, the adult can:

Pause the activity when the child appears to become irritated.
Remove the child from the environment when the child appears to escalate.
Provide breaks.
Allow the child to go to a “calm space” as a means to self-regulate.
Point out the emotional state that the child appears to have (“You look like you’re having fun”; “you look frustrated”; “you look like you want to do this again”).
When the child is having fun, the adult mirrors the joy, laughter and intensity of the child.

Fun: Children enjoy activities that are fun. During times of intense play, children lose their sense of self-consciousness and of time. Play that is deeply engaging and fun allows children to be distracted from fixating on their stressors.

The Broaden and Build theory of Barbara Frederickson has found that enjoyment of play serves to calm physiological arousal. This lowers a child’s sensitivity to their emotional triggers.
Enjoyable play allows children to expand their thought and action repertoires, rather than remaining locked into behavioural patterns related to stress and anxiety.

Encouraging: The idea of encouraging activities builds on the Broaden and Build model discussed above. Adults can build in encouragement to any activity that the child participates in such as:

Catching the child doing something well as they are doing it.
Responding to a child “You did great!” or “You are so good at that activity”
Asking the child “What did you think you did well?” or “What was best about that?”
Anchor the encouragement to an area that the child believes is a personal deficit. (eg. If the child has a poor sense of esteem, comment on the child’s character (“you were very kind; encouraging; brave”…) or quality of participation (“You are so coordinated; smart; creative”…)